Mar 9
Welcome to Part 2 of Romancelandia’s Angry Ass Mobs 101: So You’ve Been Attacked by The Mob
Like scary ass flesh eating zombies (no offense) Romancelandia’s Angry Ass Mob can be relentless and yes, they are out for blood.
We all have moments where we speak before we think, even me. OMG I know! Emma Petersen speaking before she thinks? No way! It’s true, children, so very true. One time a friend showed me her Louis Vuitton bag another friend got her and before I could close my big ass mouth out popped the words, “That isn’t real.” 
Did you gasp, babies? You should have because with those three words Emma commited a major faux pas. Was I correct? Was the bag fake? Does Corey do the best flat irons in the entire county of Orange? Yes, it was fake but that’s neither here nor there.
I had no right to say it was fake. It was a gift from another friend and my friend believed it was real and me telling her it was not was super assholish. Seriously, it was. So looking back at the incident I have to ask myself why I did it. Was it hurting me that the bag wasn’t real? No, I honestly didn’t want to touch it or anything but it wasn’t hurting me so I’ll be honest, I said something because I can be a dick. And vain. A vain dick if you will. I know Louis Vuitton and as a proud customer of theirs for over two decades I can spot a faux bag from a hundred paces. I’m proud of that but that doesn’t mean I should go out of my way, by accident or on purpose, to hurt people with my special powers.
So…you’ve said something you regret, thus cutting yourself deeply. And the mob has caught the scent of blood. Is it too late for damage control? To bandage the wound before too many catch the scent? No, okay well get to bandaging. If someone emails you, or points out that you’ve inadvertently offended someone what can you do?
1. You can apologize. Be honest with yourself, were you wrong? Could you have handled the situation better? Were you having a fucked up day and just went there because you were feeling shitty? It’s okay to admit it. We’ve all been there. After reading the LV bag incident you know I have. So apologize. It doesn’t hurt I promise.
2. So you’ve apologized but it’s too late and the mob has already caught sent. Le sigh. Well, this is the where you’re going to have to take a good long look at things. EVERYONE is talking about you. They’re calling you out of your name and saying what a vain dick you are and that you can do absolutely nothing right.
Well you and I both know that’s not true. Everyone isn’t talking about you. It may feel like they are but Romancelandia’s Angry Ass Mob has a membership. The same people pick up their pitchforks and torches that always do. So while it may feel like everyone is talking about you, they’re not, it’s just like the same 15 to 20 people.
Remember during this that while people are leaving comments on the blogs, they don’t know the whole story. So in fact they aren’t talking about you, they’re talking about who they think you are.
Now this is where you are going to need to remember your sense of self and remember that people you’ve never met, will probably never meet cannot make or break you.
You’re in the middle of the mob, they’re kicking you while you are down. Slapping and beating you for all they’re worth…with WORDS.
Remember when you were younger and you would go to your mom to tell her someone called you a poopy head. What did your mom tell you? If she was anything like mine she’d sing to you, Sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.
And she was partially right. Let’s be honest, words do hurt but how much they hurt depends on the power you give them.
Someone can call me a bitch. And I can shrug it off. How? Well, if I take their insult literally I know I’m not a female dog. I don’t have four legs or a sassy little waggy tail. So I’m not a bitch.
But even if I don’t take it literally, it’s a word. Bitch. What does it mean really? Let’s look it up.
In literal, non-slang use, bitch is a term for female canines, particularly amongst dog breeders. It is also a common English profanity for a woman that typically carries denigrating or misogynistic overtones—such as resemblance to a dog.
So we’ve already established your name isn’t Lassie. (Lassie was a dude wasn’t he? Like in real life.) So let’s look at the second part of this. “English profanity for a woman that typically carries denigrating or misogynistic overtones—such as resemblance to a dog.”
Typically carries denigrating or misogynistic overtones. So the purpose of the word basically is to demean you. Well, sure it’s a bad word. It can be insulting but seriously, it’s a word. It can’t take anything away from you that you don’t allow it to. That goes with all of the names the mob might call you. Words only have power if you allow them to.
So remember, sense of self. Who you are. You don’t have a sassy waggy tail or drink out of the toilet nor are you whatever foul name the mob wants to call you.
3. Do you respond to the mob?
We’ll talk about this tomorrow but I will say this. You’re swimming in the ocean, you’ve cut yourself pretty badly on coral and you’re bleeding profusely. The sharks are circling and by some kind of miracle you’ve made it out of the water unscathed. Would you go back in the water? Or would you thank your lucky stars you were still breathing and walk away?
Comments: noneMar 8
So it’s about that time again. Time to sharpen up the pitch folks and soak the gasoline rags for the torches. Yep, children it’s the season for Romancelandia’s Angry Ass Mob Get Together. And just in case you’re not up on your Romancelandia Angry Mobs 101 here are some tips and tricks for you.
What do you need to make your Romancelandia angry mob the best it can be?
1. TOO MUCH TIME! I don’t know about you but between designing, creating book covers, and writing full time, I don’t have TOO MUCH TIME on my hands but if you’re motivated enough I’m sure you’ll find it.
2. A forgetful nature or short-term memory loss. Now this is important, children, because it’s hard to convict someone and then commit the same crime you’ve convicted them of without having a forgetful nature or short term memory loss.
3. A lack of an email account. Because instead of simply emailing the person and explaining to them that you didn’t appreciate what they did to you it is easier to create a passive aggressive blog post with no names mentioned so the person has no clue whatsoever that they hurt your feelings.
4. The ability to blow shit way out of proportion. Because who needs the truth when you can instead lie and bend things to suit your purposes.
5. People who like to beat dead horses. I personally don’t care for horses yet when someone is beating one to death I resist the urge to jump in. Because after a while it’s just fucking tacky.
6. A lack of caring or compassion toward your fellow person. Because who gives a fuck about what the “bad guy” might be going through. That bitch needs to pay anyway. How dare that person be human and make a mistake.
7. The ability to delete comments. THIS ONE IS A REQUIREMENT. Because when someone calls you on your fuckery and gives you concrete proof that you have stretched the truth you don’t need anyone else seeing that. Because then they may actually put down their own pitchforks and torches and realize that the situation wasn’t that big of a damn deal to begin with.
Wait, what? Am I talking about you? Do you think I’m talking about you? Did you get a weird uncomfortable sensation in your chestal region? That’s called a conscious, it’s sorta like Jiminy Cricket without the antennae. It tells you when you might have gone too far and may need to pull back the reins and take a look at what you’re going and why you are doing it.
Did you write that blog post because it was a good chance to get in where you fit in? A chance to connect with that higher level author/blogger/reviewer you’d really like to connect with? Or did you do it because the courage of your convictions and what the “bad guy” is doing is really just that wrong and people need to know about it?
I have a feeling even though you won’t admit it, it’s option one. It’s okay, we’ve all been there. We’ve all fucked up. Only difference this when we did it every time we logged onto the internet there weren’t 50 trillion blog posts about it.
The moral of this rant story? Angry mobs are heady, exciting and really fucking dangerous. They’re worst than a snowball running down a steep mountain because they build with momentum and have the ability to swallow everything in their path. So how about this instead, if you see a “bad guy” do something you don’t like, don’t think is kosher how about emailing that person and telling them. Yes, it’s putting yourself out there because you don’t know how the person will react. Will they react negatively or will they be grateful because they didn’t realize they may have made a mistake? Either way in my opinion taking that chance is better than forming an angry mob.
This lesson has been brought to you by the letters BADHITTWPLSOA (Beating A Dead Horse Is Tackier Than White Patent Leather Shoes on Adults) and EIAPBDCBSHAM (Emma Is a Pollyanna But Doesn’t Care Because She Hates Angry Mobs) and the O A Day Foundation, because seriously an orgasm a day can make you less inclined to join an angry mob.
Comments are open and will remain open no matter what anyone says. Unless you start talking shit about the following:
My Cat
Frank
Garth Brooks
Christain Louboutin
RuPaul
Neiman Marcus
Macy’s
MAC Cosmestics
Sephora
Cosmetics In General
Handbags in General
Also if you’d like to email me, you are more than welcome to do that @ emma @ emma petersen dot com.
Edited to add:
This post was motivated by the brouhaha over Rob Thurman’s release day contest & while it is true I consider Rob my friend I am tired of Romancelandia’s Angry Mobs as a whole. Don’t believe me go back and read the comments in any Romancelandia Angry Mob blog post. Was the comment sacchrine sweet, almost Give Peace a Chance verbatim and make you want to pinch the person because she was a Pollyanna or mentioned Pollyanna? That was me. I dont like ANYONE’s feelings being hurt. And the only time I join the mob is when animals or children have been hurt. Yes, I will cut a bitch over animals or children.
Please note that I am not speaking for Rob. Matter of fact she asked me not to say anything at all but being the stubborn bitch that I am, I ignored her. *shrugs*
I just wanted to share a perfect example of how the truth gets stretched and bent to suit a person’s agenda. This website is called the Wank Report and they reported the following:
Cue Thurman going apeshit for at least a month before her official release day, posting increasingly in ALL CAPS, until we get the post below, where she berates a reader for buying the book on Monday because the reader was *having surgery* on Tuesday. When the reader apologizes, Thurman responds that she’ll need pictures of the surgery. To forgive, people. To forgive.
And let’s visit the actual blog post where the interaction took place and see if that’s what really happened.
Then I guess it can’t be helped. Send pictures of the inside of your body and we might swing you chap one of Cal 6. heee. But good luck regardless! I cried before they put me under anesthesia (and I was an RN…how embarrassing.)
When I advised the Wank Report of the discrepancy in their comments, they erased it. I was polite, didn’t accuse, simply stated fact and yet my comment was erased. Why?
I also left comments on here and here. I doubt Katie will erase my comment but I don’t really know the other lady so only time will tell.
And just in case you guys don’t realize how much power a mob can weild a friend said this to me earlier, “they can do a LOT. Obviously. Very obviously. I’ve seen these things before (have never been a target, but seen them.) You’ll get hurt badly. Don’t.”
Don’t what? Write this post because the Romancelandia Angry Ass Mob would turn on me. Seriously? What can they do? Empty my bank account? Lower my FICA score? Steal all my handbags? Cut my Neimie’s card in two? Make my family stop loving me? Make gravity hit my chestable region hard and ruin my pretty awesome rack?
No, all they can do is blog about me. Talk about how I dared to call them on their fuckery and they are more than welcome to do that. My only request is that they spell my name correctly. E M M A P E T E R S E N
Comments: 13Mar 8
Morning Loverlies,
It’s the 2nd week of March already and seriously, is it just me or is this year just flying by?
I could have sword I already picked today’s Music Monday pick but nothing showed up when I searched for it. So I guess we’re in luck. I love Lady Antebellum and I absolutely love their song, Need You Now. I think the first time I heard it was on the CMAs and I downloaded it immediately. I love the lyrics, the music, everything. But most of all I love it because I’ve been there.
Comments: none
